One thing I notice is the idols in my life. If you know me for more than 20 minutes, you will find out a few things about me. I am serious, love to help, a little slow to speak, act like a blonde, love to be with friends, try to keep track of all my 10 younger sibs and 3 of my cousins kids, and I love anything that has 4 wheels, room for 2-6 people, has a bed to sleep in or throw stuff in, and has a diesel engine shoved under the hood! My friends have found it hilarious that I can tell you everything about a diesel pickup and tell you all the problems wrong with it. Plus the fact I am shoving a Dodge Cummins Diesel into a 87 Chevy Suburban after I wrecked my truck last year in August. The truck WAS a 93 3/4 ton 4x4 Dodge with a Cummins Diesel and I loved it until one fate filled day I wrecked while I was off road. OUCH! Talk about God bringing some things to the fore front for me to deal with. So I stupidly kept on looking for a truck and finally settled to shove the diesel in when the old engine in the Suburban threw the timing chain. I also wanted to go to college and get a certificate for being a diesel mechanic. II wanted to do what I wanted, not Him.
The other idol was the want of someone special in my life. I have never had a girlfriend before (!!!!) and was feeling lonesome and angry towards God. Why couldn't He provide someone when I thought I needed it right now. I have found out that Gods timing is perfect and while I was waiting He decided to clean house in my heart. My life needed direction and a sense of peace and closeness with Him.
So in January I went to go see a movie with some friends and saw the rating was R for sexual content, language, and sporadic use of drugs. I was like "Guys, lets see something different. How about Rambo?" Well pretty much everyone else had seen it. So I regrettably bought the $7 ticket. You know what $7 can do to your life? I was shaking my head at the coments and the language until about 15 mins into the movie a scene came up. I looked down (not something any Christian should see, much less any guys), stood up and walked out to my bro's truck. I had this nice down jacket on and boy was I glad I brought it with! The outside temp was about 30* and my bro (still watching the movie) had the keys. So I hop into the truck and sat for about 10 mins. I figured I might as well do something and started to pray. Well one thing led to another and I started sobbing at how my life was at that point. I was running from God's plan but still trying to follow Him. Why was I not at peace with Him? Why was I angry at Him? Why was I not as strong of a Christian as I thought I should be? What is His plan for me? What is my purpose?
God has answered or is answering all those questions. YES!!! Finally!! I have peace. I am not angry at God anymore! I have a hunger for the Word now. I am praying more often. Stuff I have never really experienced in my life before.
I then realized what had happened about a month and a half ago. That is, there is a difference between asking Jesus to save you from your sins and surrendering your life to Him. My life is now totally His and He could do what He wanted with it. Who am I to stand in His way? He now leads, being a Perfect Leader, in my life! How many settlers in the 1800's wanted a perfect scout and leader? A lot! And those guys made a ton of mistakes too. But God will not make any.
So since January, I have been revealed or shown a lot about what God wants me to do. The first is to move out and start being responsible for my life. But I need a vehicle and once the Suburban is done, and after some prayer, I will be. My parents are planning on me helping them with the addition to the house this year and I will. But whether I am moving out before and just stopping by on my way home from work or moving out after is all a matter of what God wants, and they know that. I love my parents.
Also God wants me to start helping young men and fathers on how to live life for him while being brother/friend/husband/father of their relationships. Sexual integrity is top priority on my list. What is wrong with our culture?
The other thing is a job. I am staying at my current job at Crest Foods They have been good to me but the thing that bothers me the most is people. What else is new?
And finally the one thing that I have prayed for and wanted for 7 years, a girlfriend! But not just anybody, someone who I respect, trust, and love to be around with. I have waited for 7 years (SHe said it is like the story of Jacob and Rachel in Genesis). You will hear more of my COURTSHIP later when the time is right.
WOOHOO! God is shaping me to be the man He wants me to be. And I LOVE it! Life is exciting, how is yours?
Jon
1 comment:
Wow. You are so right!
You have a gift for putting your thoughts into words.
For us, God's timing was perfect, and will continue to be!
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