2 Weeks Synopsis

Ok, so I am definately NOT a steady blogger like some of you. But lately has been more hectic than I could imagine....

Since I have posted, I have had MANY things happen to me, to Rachel, to my family, to my relationship. How can 2 weeks do something like that? Well, they get very busy and full. Granted, it is my fault (and joy!) that I have been going to bed between 10:30-11pm every night and getting up between 4:45-5am for work and 7am on the weekends.

On Saturday the 14th, we had a birthday party for my uncle who is battling cancer right now. He is not doing good and my mom and I wanted him to meet Rachel before it was too late. To start the afternoon off, my mom introduced her as my "future fiance"!!??!! I was like WOW! and Rachel was in shock, mouth open. That was totally unexpected. Took a few minutes (ok, HOURS!) to get over that shock. After having some time to spend with Rachel, we got to talking about my Grandpa as he lived on a lake and was losing the pier. Rachel called her Dad to see if she could go with us on Sunday, Fathers Day. That did not turn out well. And it so happened that Sunday night, she had a bad argument with her Mom over some other guys calling her. The heat of the battle makes the end sweet. Some issues got resolved and I thank God it came out now, instead of later.

That week was full of ups and downs. But nothing compared to Friday. As I was at work, I was moving some stuff around and pulled a couple of muscles in my back. Um yea, improper lifting. So off to OccMed (Occupational Medical Help~something or other.) I go and get checked out, get some medication, and get electric therapy which was OH SO GOOD!!! Anyhoo, that night I was able to go to Rachels' house to watch a movie with a bunch of friends. It is a night where they host a movie on a Friday and we have a Bible study afterwards, using themes from the movie. Really interesting. So after the movie and study, we all went outside and talked. I spent the night there in there conference/movie/guest house. I got to bed at 1am and was up at 7am to go have some breakfast with her Dad. I enjoyed that time with him. We got back to the house and watched this movie on how to relate to teens. We did this for 2 reasons. 1 is cause I am wanting to be a youth pastor, and 2 because they wanted to know if the speaker was talking right.... You know, if what he said was really right on with how older adults need to communicate to the younger generation. The one we saw was the one on how a strong dad helped teens through tough times. So now I have some knowledge (not hands on experience though) on how to relate to my kids and how it would turn out. That afternoon I went home and helped with the addition, by bailing the hay. I was not in a position to help with the framing as I was on restriction per doctor orders. Bailing the hay consisted of sitting on the tractor. Thats it. I sat for about 3-4 hours doing this.

Sunday I went with a good friend of my Dad to go to Caterpillars' 50th Anniversary at Aurora. Really nice to see that technology. Me, being the mechanical guru that I am, was just soaking all this up! 

Tuesday, well, did not end up too well but better than before. I wont go there.

Thursday, yesterday, was our 2 month anniversary. WOOHOO! I finally got to date Rachel since that first date, alone! Before it was a lot of double dating, or doing things with a couple of friends. Wow! A lot has happened in the last 2 months. But that will be my next post.

Monday is going to be a bittersweet day as Rachel is leaving for her missions trip to Peru, for 2 weeks. I am going to miss her but I know God will work in her while she is down yonder... :D

I cannot wait until she gets back!

Thats all for today. Maybe tomorrow, or Sunday I will post again on how Rachel and I have grown closer than even I thought might happen by now.

Jon

Exhaustion

So I have not had the greatest week at all so far. Sunday was nice getting to spend time with Rachel, watching fireworks, driving through the storms right after and getting home at 10:30pm to crawl into bed.

Monday I get a text from Rachel saying she got into a argument and had her phone calling capabilities taken away. Well, I get a text after work saying she might have broken her foot.... so after 10+ texts, I finally texted her dad to let me call her really quick. He said yes and I called her to hear her in pain and trying to keep up a good front. She did break down a couple of times. At the moment when I got her text of her hurting her foot, I knew immediately what went wrong, spiritually speaking. I had not prayed with her at all on Sunday! God was giving me a gentle reminder on what a PRIVILEGE it was to pray with her and for her. So mentally and spiritually I kicked myself. Well, that night I went to bed restless. I had a hard time falling asleep and my mind was going 100's of different directions at once. It was hard to pray and try as I might, I could not but help feeling that her fall was my fault. She really wanted to go to Peru and was looking like God was saying No while also reprimanding me. 

Yesterday I had a hard time getting up, more so than Monday morning even though I went to bed at 9pm the night before. Work was going ok until I got put in charge of a different line and had a guy on there that I really did NOT respect or liked. My boss was checking up on me the last 2 hours because we were VERY close to making rate for the day. Well, about 15 minutes before the shift ended it looked like we were going to make rate. Good, right? Well it would have been if he did not open his mouth. He said "Geez, Farmer. [I will tell you one of these days on how I got that nickname] You see more of Dan than you do of your girlfriend. Are you looking for a brownie?" I just about lost my cool with that comment! So now made afternoon took a turn for the worse at that point. We made rate but I stayed much longer to clean up than what I was getting paid for. So I get home to the excavator starting the crawl space part of the new addition. Dad asked me to go to Do It Best lumber in Dixon to get some boards for the escape windows for the new basement. So I did and get back only to see the backhoe not moving and 3 men (1 of them my dad, a friend of dad, and the operator) looking at something in the corner of the house. I KNEW right then that they had hit the septic tile. And they did. Dad thought it went straight north out of the house. Nope. You can see clearly that it went out west in the basement. Well, he asked me if it was Schedule 40 or 80 pipe. I said it must be 80 as it was pretty thin. So he goes to the hardware store and gets Schedule 40 piping only to find out it is too big.  So I run to Ace to get the right stuff. They dont have it. So I tried calling Dads' cell, Moms' Blackberry and finally get ahold of someone with Moms' other phone. I tell them whats up and they said to go to Menards. on the way there, I find a piece of particle board plywood broken in 2 pieces along the highway. I do a U-turn and go back to get it. As I pulled up and out of the way, I find the 3rd piece. So now I have 1 4'x8'x1/2" plywood in 3 pieces. And I get 3 wonderful slivers out of it. Get to Menards. Now they have the right stuff but they are out of it. Call Dads' phone, Moms' 2 phones, home phone, my bro's 2 cellphones (one is for work), remember bro is at softball practice, call everyone in the same sequence again. 15 mins of trying to get ahold of someone and I was livid when I finally got ahold of my dad through my sis' cell. He tells me to go to Farm and Fleet across the street. I tell him that Farm and Fleet would not have it as it is NOT a normally stocked item at some places. Well I get there and sure enough, nothing. Now I drive back to Dixon to get Taco Bell, and head on my way home. I get home and stay there while everyone else is either at a friends house or with Dad and Mom. Now I get a text from my darling Rachel and she asked me how I was doing. I replied back that the day sucked. Well after a few more texts she called me. She said she had 10mins and to make the most of them. She told me her dad had given her permission to. Well I started to vent a little when her sister was begging to ask me something. She asked how my little sis had broken her leg? BROKEN HER LEG??!! I knew NOTHING about it and it just fueled my anger a little. So in 10 mins time I had about exhausted myself while telling Rachel everything that went wrong that day. And to top it off now my sis has just a bad gash in her leg, but they thought it was broken and what hurt me the most was nobody in my immediate family told me this. Well after I get done venting Rachel said she will pray for me. Ok, everyone says that. Nope, she started praying right there. I just sat there and wept. It was then that she showed me how much she really cared for me. 

You see, before when we prayed, we prayed for each other. But nothing that we wouldn't tell pretty much someone else. This was something that I would not tell anyone and have them pray specifically for what happened and for what I really needed. As she prayed for what I needed, it was then that I saw what I needed. She read me like a open book. Something that I can do for her but she had a little harder time with me it seemed like. 

I have notice I have this little gift that can be annoying at times. I can read other people feelings. Whether they are good or bad. And I know when they are not being totally honest. But I cannot seem to read my own.....That drives me and other people nuts.

I need to go. I hope to have more soon.

Jon

Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

So I forgot to say why I had the acronym of CHESS in my last post. Well, when I stayed the night at my GF's house, I saw this glass chess game on their counter. I challenged her to a game of chess, as I loved playing it. She warned me she was good at it. Yea yea. Well after 4 games, she found out I was very good at it.

While playing chess I notice how she thought. Her thinking strategy is plan, plan, plan. And if something goes wrong, watch out. She doesn't like anything to get messed up. 

I, on the other hand, set a goal and make little step to accomplish that goal. If something happen, shrug it off and seek out new ways to get there.

There is good things and bad things with both types of thinking. Mine is that I will not (or cannot) plan beyond 2-3 steps. It gets too complicated to do that for me. Hers is long reaching and does nothing if some little thing happens along the way.

I have notice that this also applies to real life. I like having dreams and try to work towards them. But nothing really gets off the ground because I cannot seem to plan them. She has these big plans and yet when something happens (Like me coming into the picture) her plan seem to go down the drain. I see how we would compliment each other. Thank God for not creating us to be the same.

Fast forward to today.....

So now I bet you are wondering what is going on. Well, I have had a dream that never got off the ground and now God seems to be saying, "GO!" I have gone down to New Orleans 2 times already. I didn't go long term because I was just starting a job, needed money, etc..... And God is looking down asking me if His grace is sufficient for me.... This also started about the time my pastor started discipling me with John Pipers "Don't Waste Your Life".  So I am restless, wanting to do something for God, for ME to provide everything, AND..... the smell of mold just about broke me at work. Ok, so I now have people praying for me. I went to Wednesday evening service and pastor taught on prayer. One thing that stuck out to me is Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you, all thing for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted to you." Hmmm. So I emailed the director down in Covington and has replied back saying they could use someone like me. So I just keep praying.

So I missed some fun yesterday while I was double dating with me Rachel and her parents. My family is adding on to the house, about doubling the size. So a add-on room on the back of the house had to come down. Go here to see what has been done.

I was making brownies yesterday at Rachel's house because her dad challenged me to a brownie bake-off. The "judges" are the unsuspecting Sunday School attenders, LOL. As we were talking, I asked him what was the most exciting thing about the relationship. He said it was how I PRAYED with his daughter. Not just to impress him (ie doing it openly in front of him) but when ever we talk for extended periods of time, or see each other, we make it a point to pray with each other, for each other. That is something that we decided to make it a point to pray with each other and it seems to be making waves. All her friends who have seen us pray together seem to be gushing over it. That, to me, says that us young men do NOT take the initative to do just that! Folks, that is a PROBLEM!!! Our young men, me included, need to be taught what it is like to be LEADERS! One of these days I will be posting on just that subject....

I think I am done....

Jon 

(EDIT) I thought I was done BUT I guess I am not.

I found a song I really like by Josh Turner called Soulmate. I would like that to be my wedding song. Goes something like this.

Soulmate
Until the end of time
You're my soulmate
I'll love you till I get to heaven's gate
And if I go first sweetheart
I'll wait
'Cause I know I'll never find another
Soulmate

Chess

I thought I would post some more as I have time until I go out with a good friend of mine. These past few months have been going by VERY fast. I feel like my truck. Once the turbo spooled, it went off like a rocket. And now I feel like I have hit top end and I am slowly winding down....

This past month with Rachel has been....awsome! I have seen her in a very different light than before. She is very articulate but random. Funny but also very emotional. Energetic but also sometimes very tired. All she seems (read it again) to do is run, run, run. Me, I take breaths in between runs. I like being a little laid back. Now how do I reach a happy medium? Something to work out with her.

Now to do a acronym.....

One thing I notice I lack in is COMMUNICATION. I have found out certain word phrases do not agree with her, as in, she freaks out. Is he going to dump me? What did I do wrong this time? He must not like me anymore... Oh dear.....I also notice that what I see and what I meant to say are 2 different things. She can see through most of it but not always. I pray God will give me a better tongue to speak more clearly.

I have also notice that I am trying to be HUMBLED by God. Why do I deserve such a wonderful young lady? Or my friends? Or my Pastor and spiritual leaders? I also try to hit what I think are problems head on only to find out, I goofed.  I pray I will be a will lump of clay to be molded by Him who has a Plan for me. Now, to find out what that plan is....

I am finding I am being ENCOURAGED by friends and family. They are encouraging me to find out God's plan for me and, some day, my wife. What is His plan? Well their prayers seem to be being answered one day and revelation at a time. A new came to me today, a old ambition. Brought on by a sense of smell at work....!!!! God work in VERY mysterious ways.

SUPPLICATION..... A very big word but one that I am doing constantly to God. What is His plan for me? Why am I restless to just drop my job and go into full time ministry? Why can I not seem to build up savings but am being led to go to Moody Bible?

I am being led into a life of SERVITUDE. I love serving but I feel like I could never be in a position of much leadership. I can lead but only if there is a higher authority to report to. Making final decisions is not my best thing but yet, when I am married, I know I  will have BIG decisions to make. And yet, I am perfectly happy to do what someone else asks me as long as it does not convict me of my moral and ethics.

So what is His plan? I don't know but I waiting to for Him to reveal it to me.

Signing out,

Jon

Artie

So who is this mysterious girlfriend of mine? What does she look like? What is her name?

OK, OK. If you guys read my post on How I met the Girl of my Dreams, Literally!, then you saw her name once, know only how I started this relationship. Welp, she has read it and politely asked "Why am I only mentioned ONCE??!!" Umm, well.....I am getting to that. And here I am! So I will start with the 5 W's.

Who is she? Her name is Rachel, to me Artie. Her initials are RD and that is where we got Artie. Distinguishes her from my sister if they are both within earshot. 

What do I like about her? Just about everything, just.....*peeks around shoulder* Ok, everything. She is funny, sarcastic (working on that one....), God fearing, mission minded, loves children, short (I always wanted someone to look up to me :D ), sings beautifully, very smart~smarter than me~,  intelligent, writes wonderfully. Anything else???

Where did I meet her? I met her at church about 7 years ago. We have been good friends since.

When did this all start? Well, either 7 years ago or 1 month. Either way, I dont look back on it.

Why her? Why her??? Because, I have my reasons. As stated before but more importantly, God is gently prodding me. Need I say anything else?

So anyhoo, I was at her awards ceremony last night. That surprised her to begin with. I had acted like I was going to talk to her as usual at 9pm. Well, I walked into the doors and waited in the lobby like her dad said to. I waited and waited for about the 3 mins. Impatiently I called her dad to see what to do next. He said to keep walking into the downstairs room. So I walk in and look around the corner and there she is with her hand to her mouth on her cell phone. She was saying over and over "Wow". Her dad had called her to ask to walk into the foyer. Well here I come around the corner and luckily she was able to sit into a chair right behind. I sat next to her and asked if she could say anything else other than Wow. I asked her if she was surprised and she about slugged me and said emphatically "NO!" So after introductions went around, we talked briefly. I went up stairs with my friend who I brought along. We had a fun but long night. After 2 hours of awards, we get some pictures taken. I will get them up as soon as I get some from her. But to say the least, I am proud to say she got 2 awards, her sister got 1, and her dad (who teaches Debate and Economics) got 2 awards. Some pictures I took did not turn out with the new camera I got for my birthday.

This week/weekend is FULL for me starting tonight. But hopefully I will get through with God's grace.

Jon

The Family

So you might be wondering about the name, Oldest of 11. Well, there is 11 children in my family. There is 9 younger natural siblings and 1 who was transplanted in by adoption. I love them all but some can get pretty annoying. 

One brother is 18, about a year and a half younger. Works hard, tall (6' 2"), lanky, blonde. We get along on somethings and fight on others. We share the same interest in trucks (Big and must be a diesel) and  how to customize them. 

A sister is 16, born 4 years later to the day after me. (Ok 3 year, 364 days and 12 hours or so behind me) Shorter but getting taller than me, dirty blonde, tough, sweet but has a vicious side if tempted. She keeps me inline very good. Dance very well and pretty close to my 15 year old brother in height, everything. They could almost be twins. It is scary how well they think alike.

Another brother is almost 15, the clown of the family. He is about 5'8", lanky, gonna be taller than me someday. He can make almost anybody laugh and he a great sense of humor. He can do the robot dance and imitate people very well. He will be a  good comedian one of these days.

Second sister is turning the big 13 this year. Emotional, wants to be considered grown up but yet still very much a kid. She loves to try and be a tomboy but gets hurt at the smallest of things.

The twins, both at 11 years of age. They are fraternal twins, meaning they do not look alike. In fact, nearly everyone thinks the blonde twin and my second sister are the twins. One is blonde, shy, soft-spoken. The other is brown haired,  slender, strong for her size, asks those questions that make you go hmmm. They cannot be separated.. the blonde is almost the exact opposite of other in some ways. They were born 3 days after my (and Sis) birthday.

Third bro is 9 years old. Blonde, slim, gonna be tall one of these days. He follows my mischievious second bro in the hospital visits. Mischeivious, rough house at any moment with me. He is a little worm! GRab him one way and he will find a way to slip out.

My fifth sister is 7. She has these really big eyes that might one day be useful if she ever learns how to use them. She is somewhat a drama queen. She tries to imitate Mom, the twins, and third bro in that order. Every day is different.

The youngest sis. 5 years and knows how to use that smile and eyes for her good. Spoiled cause she is the last of the girls and the last natural born. She is truly a miracle for being alive! One of these days I will tell you why.

And the youngest boy is the baby of the family and adopted. Another miracle baby. What started out as a babysitting job turned into a another person being added to the family. At 2years old, he is a rambunctious little brat. If you did not know he was adopted, you would have never guessed he was. He looks like us so much!

And from time to time you will hear of my three cousins kids. We are currently fostering them.

That gives you a small glimpse of my family.

Signing out

Jon

How I met the girl of my Dreams, literally!

I have promised to tell you of this exciting new thing in my life called courtship. I will tell you my side of the story but first let me define what I am doing.

Courtship is much different than dating. In fact, dating is just a really stripped down version of courtship. Courtship relies on friendship and openness in the beginning with the prospective couple and their families! WHAT??? You mean you can't just like her, go out a few times to see if we click, and just go from their? Nope. Not in courtship. Courtship is taken more seriously than dating as a few criteria must be met on both parties first and it is a firmer step than dating to marriage. The top 3 things in my book are 1) Maturity: Physically, spiritually, and mentally (More for the ladies as we guys never get out of this last stage). How can a 16 year old take under his wing a young lady and have the maturity to do it? Can he provide for a wife? He needs to be able to provide for a family, not just the 2 of them. Think of it this way, 1+1=3. When 2 people come together, children naturally follow. 2) Families: When you marry someone, you don't just marry the spouse but their immediate family. Is the guy in good standing with her family? He needs to start this relationship on a good foot as the families are a integral part of this relationship. He will be asking the father about his want to court his daughter. And 3) Each other: This is a duh! statement but really, just cause you like her, is there a friendship already started that can be built upon? You know, I tried to like other girls but when I got to be friends, nothing more could be developed as we were just that, friends. 

So anyways, now to the meat and taters.....

I was 1 month away from turning 14 and I was really trying to see God work in my life. So I asked God who would be my wife. I know, you get what you asked for. So in 3 different nights I got 3 different dreams. What was unique about them? I always had someone beside me that I couldn't see their face fully but I notice somethings about them. They way she walked and talked. So I knew who it was. I decided to write her a letter. Uh-oh. I knew a little about her but not enough to start a courtship. And I found out later she was 11!!!! I thought since she was in my bro's Sunday school class, and acted more mature, I thought she was 13. Nope. Thats how I started it the first time. Now, where is the smily shaking his finger....

So what ensued was a roller coaster ride. I couldn't wait to see her at church but when I did, I ignored her. But when our families got together or at church events, we would find some way to go off together and just talk. Well, about 2-3 year later, she asked to talk to me after a church Christmas play practice. I said ok. I thought she just wanted to talk. So we sat down and she turned and looked at me and said "Jon, I don't have any feeling for you anymore. I am going out with another guy." My world came crashing down like the Twin Towers on 9/11. I choked out "If that's how you feel, its alright with me." I walked outside to get something from the van and as I was walking back in, I started to sing a chorus that our church had started singing just a few months before. But the only verse at that time that I could remember went like this:

When Satan tempts me to despair

And tells me of the guilt within

Upward I look and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin.......

~Before the Throne of God Above

I just kept repeating that verse over and over. The next day for the play, I was dealing with it ok but Rachel was not looking very well at all. I knew she was attached to me but if she wanted it to break off, I was going to make sure that it was officially and totally broke off. So from then on, I didn't interact with her much, really only when I had to. And from then on my life would go down to the pits and come back up. In fact, it was that point which was the lowest. I had gotten in some seriously deep trouble when something on my computer came to the forefront and I had to confront them. Unfortunately, I didn't find it first, my parents did. Yikes! I never have seen my dad that mad, let alone he never gets mad about anything.

So God was working in my life then. He was molding me and bending and tempering me at that point. I made a few bad decisions about jobs and how to handle money. I made a few trips to New Orleans to help with the Katrina Relief. And all this time, I was looking for a new girlfriend.

Everywhere I went, people would ask me "So, do you have a girlfriend?" I would pump up my chest and say "Nope! They cost too much time and money." They would laugh and most would drop it there. Then some would ask what happened to the last one. I said I never had a girlfriend. That is when their mouth dropped. No grilfriend? Dude are you feeling well? You gay or something? I would shake my head and drop it.

Now Rachel at first tried getting back together with me and I was being my stubborn German self and I said no. I did not want to be the fall back guy. But then we fell away from each other until March 27.......

She was over at our house so our mothers could talk about what was going on with the 3 kids we are fostering until my cousin gets back on her feet. So I was asked to take my Sis Rachel and Rachel (My sis was spending the night with Rachel as they were really good friends.) to the resturant where they were talking and to drop Jay off with my mom so he could go get counseling. On the way their we were talking like friends, the first time since.....Well since a LONG time. Our old relationship came up and we were jabbing at each other about how it went. She asked me something and I remember saying that breaking up hurt.

I dropped them off and was returning home in the snow when I get a call from some number I didn't recognize so I answered. It was Rachel (not my Sis) and she said "Jon, I have to tell you something. I wanted to tell you in the van but you jumped out right away and I couldn't ralk to you." I said "What's up?" "I am sorry. I had no idea that I hurt you that much. Will you forgive me?" Being the romantic I am, I said "Oh. Ok thanks" and hung up. I pounded the steering wheel as the emotions started flowing again. Emotions that I thought I had destroyed came flooding back. I screamed at God "WHY??!!" 

That night I talked to Mom. 

Then Dad that Saturday. 

Then her Dad on April 13 and he said "Yes, you can court her." Um, is there a door way that could fit my now overgrown head through?? I think not. But some how I walked out through those Pizza Hut doors.

Anyways, in the past 30 days, we have grown closer together than we ever were before. April 26 will be considered our "anniversary" as that is when we went out on our first official date and I gave her a promise ring.

Guys, and gals, she is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. I cannot describe her and her heart. She has forgiven my past sins. I am unworthy.

But God (those famous words) has a plan for us, and it just might as very well be together for a long time.

WOW!!!

GOD IS GOOD!

ALL THE TIME!

Jon

WOW! God's timing is perfect!

WOW!!! In the last 5 months God has been showing His goodness to me. Since January my life has been changing and I am loving it. Jesus has helped me with a lot of stuff in my life that needed to be redone, worked on, and where I needed to grow in.

One thing I notice is the idols in my life. If you know me for more than 20 minutes, you will find out a few things about me. I am serious, love to help, a little slow to speak, act like a blonde, love to be with friends, try to keep track of all my 10 younger sibs and 3 of my cousins kids, and I love anything that has 4 wheels, room for 2-6 people, has a bed to sleep in or throw stuff in, and has a diesel engine shoved under the hood! My friends have found it hilarious that I can tell you everything about a diesel pickup and tell you all the problems wrong with it. Plus the fact I am shoving a Dodge Cummins Diesel into a 87 Chevy Suburban after I wrecked my truck last year in August. The truck WAS a 93 3/4 ton 4x4 Dodge with a Cummins Diesel and I loved it until one fate filled day I wrecked while I was off road. OUCH! Talk about God bringing some things to the fore front for me to deal with. So I stupidly kept on looking for a truck and finally settled to shove the diesel in when the old engine in the Suburban threw the timing chain. I also wanted to go to college and get a certificate for being a diesel mechanic. II wanted to do what I wanted, not Him.

The other idol was the want of someone special in my life. I have never had a girlfriend before (!!!!) and was feeling lonesome and angry towards God. Why couldn't He provide someone when I thought I needed it right now. I have found out that Gods timing is perfect and while I was waiting He decided to clean house in my heart. My life needed direction and a sense of peace and closeness with Him.

So in January I went to go see a movie with some friends and saw the rating was R for sexual content, language, and sporadic use of drugs. I was like "Guys, lets see something different. How about Rambo?" Well pretty much everyone else had seen it. So I regrettably bought the $7 ticket. You know what $7 can do to your life? I was shaking my head at the coments and the language until about 15 mins into the movie a scene came up. I looked down (not something any Christian should see, much less any guys), stood up and walked out to my bro's truck. I had this nice down jacket on and boy was I glad I brought it with! The outside temp was about 30* and my bro (still watching the movie) had the keys. So I hop into the truck and sat for about 10 mins. I figured I might as well do something and started to pray. Well one thing led to another and I started sobbing at how my life was at that point. I was running from God's plan but still trying to follow Him. Why was I not at peace with Him? Why was I angry at Him? Why was I not as strong of a Christian as I thought I should be? What is His plan for me? What is my purpose?

God has answered or is answering all those questions. YES!!! Finally!! I have peace. I am not angry at God anymore! I have a hunger for the Word now. I am praying more often. Stuff I have never really experienced in my life before.

I then realized what had happened about a month and a half ago. That is, there is a difference between asking Jesus to save you from your sins and surrendering your life to Him. My life is now totally His and He could do what He wanted with it. Who am I to stand in His way? He now leads, being a Perfect Leader, in my life! How many settlers in the 1800's wanted a perfect scout and leader? A lot! And those guys made a ton of mistakes too. But God will not make any.

So since January, I have been revealed or shown a lot about what God wants me to do. The first is to move out and start being responsible for my life. But I need a vehicle and once the Suburban is done, and after some prayer, I will be. My parents are planning on me helping them with the addition to the house this year and I will. But whether I am moving out before and just stopping by on my way home from work or moving out after is all a matter of what God wants, and they know that. I love my parents.

Also God wants me to start helping young men and fathers on how to live life for him while being brother/friend/husband/father of their relationships. Sexual integrity is top priority on my list. What is wrong with our culture?

The other thing is a job. I am staying at my current job at Crest Foods They have been good to me but the thing that bothers me the most is people. What else is new?

And finally the one thing that I have prayed for and wanted for 7 years, a girlfriend! But not just anybody, someone who I respect, trust, and love to be around with. I have waited for 7 years (SHe said it is like the story of Jacob and Rachel in Genesis). You will hear more of my COURTSHIP later when the time is right. 

WOOHOO! God is shaping me to be the man He wants me to be. And I LOVE it! Life is exciting, how is yours?

Jon